We actually spent a nice day together and then it all went to shit

As if it could ever not go to shit.  I have to say that I think I handled myself very well.  I told him off politely and basically am planning my escape.  I’ve had it.  I’ve told him that, “Yes, you are responsible for most of our mess”.  He didn’t like that much.  I held back too.  I have years worth of shit piled up, just waiting to get out.  He’s lucky I stopped when I did, I could go on for hours and hours!

You know, I think that is one of the most infuriating things about his behaviour.  He refuses to discuss things.  Once shit goes in a direction he doesn’t like, he leaves or gets mad to deflect it all back to me.  This applies to life going in a direction he doesn’t like too.  It’s all my fault.  We are in financial ruin because I didn’t go get a minimum wage job at Starbucks yet.  It has nothing to do with him being a drunken idiot and missing the signs that his scumbag partner was getting ready to pull the multi-million dollar business they owned out from under him.  It also has nothing to do with us coming to this state with the express intent of doing one business (not food related for a change) and him panicking and putting every fucking penny we had left, after the outrageous legal bills and the puny settlement from the partner breakup, into a fucking restaurant in the very town I told him that everyone had told me to avoid like the plague (the restuarant then sucked out every single penny we had in the kids savings, IRA’s and mutual funds for the next 2 years).  No, it’s all my fault. Really.   Hey! Maybe it is.  Maybe if I had been a royal bitch we would not be in this position.  Maybe if I hadn’t trusted the person who I was married to and didn’t believe they were looking out for our best interest, then we would not be in the state of chaos and destruction we are now.  He could be right…it could be all my fault.  HA! Maybe on whatever planet he lives on these days…but in my world, you are supposed to be able to trust the person you marry, and they aren’t supposed to be so fucking selfish and weak that they can’t see past their next glass of Dewars on the rocks.

He pouted for about 5 hours before going off to bed.  I’m sure he’s still huffing and puffing in there.  Well, he can huff and puff til he fucking knocks the wall down.  I’m sleeping on the guest bed.  I want to be close to the munchkins tonight anyway.  The oldest is sick as can be, and has a fever that is scaring me.

And on that note, I’m off to check her again and get my book from the huffing and puffing section of the house so I can read on the quiet and pleasant side of the house.

nite

:)