Every once in a while the filter that I view things through will drop off and things will just look different. It happens more and more now that I'm not afraid of him. Remove some of the hatred I was feeling towards him and even more of the filter slips away.
I still flip-flop on a daily basis, but knowing that somewhere inside of me is peace and confidence...that makes me feel hopeful. Knowing that I am not the person he convinced me I was makes me feel joy and optimistic towards the future.
Now I hope I can convey those traits, the optimism, joy and hope, to my daughters. I know now that I could never have been the person they needed me to be if I had not gone to California. My plans did not work out how I had intended, but who says they didn't go the way they needed to go? I have faith that things happen for a reason.
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