After finally getting it through my thick skull that he is going to lie, cheat and steal until he gets his way, I've decided I don't care if the world knows he's a piece of shit. I also realize I need to keep a daily diary of accounts, such as him getting mad at the 12 year old and picking her up by her hair, and the 12 year old jumping out of the car (both his and my mom's) when she's having a fit that could have been avoided if they'd just discipline her and stop letting her rule their world...you know, stuff like that.
Anyway, my official reasons for blogging about this again...
1.
I want to have a record for my own purposes, to be used whenever he
tries to take the girls away from me again. He has no reason for the
judge to take the girls away from me, so he's begun making stuff up. I
think a diary like record (as in a blog) will be more than a solid
record of his behavior and how it effects the girls. I would never try
to take the girls away from him the same way he's trying to take them
from me, but he's insisted on going down this path...and I can't play
the game like he does, not caring how much it's damaging the girls, but I
have to do what I have to do in order to protect them from his deranged
way of living.
2. I need to get this out and in place I can read it back to myself and see it from a different point of view. When chaos is erupting on the other end of the phone, it's hard not to get sucked in and react to that. It's important that I know that I am no longer under his control and that only if I stay calm, will my children also stay calm.
I just want my kids out of there as much as possible, even if it's only half the year, to see that life is NOT healthy or normal. They need to have an idea that they can be themselves without fear of ridicule or harassment, that they are welcome to be themselves somewhere.
This is not ideal, but this is how it all worked out.
Now to make it work out the best it can under the circumstances.
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