Things here are the same. He’s a drunk, I’m working my ass off to earn money to get us out of the $200,000+ hole that he dug, and teaching the kids and cleaning the house, and fixing all the shit he’s broken when he’s drunk. I’m tired, worn out and all my latest bitchings have been a result I think. I’m a crabby bitch. Plus I’ve had no jobs come in in a few days so I’ve had time on my hands. Time is sometimes a bad thing. I’ve had time to stop and look around. And I don’t like what I see.
My office is almost clean but I don’t like how it’s set up. Me being pushed into a corner with my computer not visible by anyone who happens to stop by (see previous post for why) has me a bit closterphobic. The kitchen is a lost freaking cause. I clean it, he comes by and destroys it. He thinks he’s at work. He actually sweeps the crap off the counter and onto the floor. Like the dishwasher (guy not machine) is gonna come by with a broom and get it, and later mop down the whole room to grab the grease that hit the floor too. He makes messes, bitches when it’s dirty and doesn’t do a fucking thing to help clean it. Our bedroom? I think Meg’s ex and my husband must be related to a degree. While he’s big on personal hygiene, he’s a fucking slob with his clothes and items that came out of his pockets. His side of the bed has a pile of underwear and socks that the dog keeps pushing under the bed. They are starting to come out under my side of the bed now. And he has the balls to bitch at me cause he can’t find underwear. DUH! The kids side of the house is almost a losing battle, but I refuse to give in there. They will learn to keep their space at least sort of clean dammit!! I will not let them go out into the world thinking that they aren’t worth living in a clean environment. I’m not talking spotless. I’m not talking about living without some small piles here and there. I’m talking about not living with food from last night that got dropped on the floor and no one noticed, or mentioned to me so I could clean it. I’m talking about not leaving a pile of toys and going to find a new pile of toys to drop on the floor. I’m talking about having a floor that you can see, that is clean and knowing where your bed ends and the pile of toys begins. My kids and I are all learning how to take care of a house at the same time. I’m not great at it, but I’m getting better every day. That’s all anyone can do. So I don’t beat myself up over it.
ok, gotta go clean now that I’m thinking about it. The DirectTV guy is coming to see why one of the tv’s only gets some channels when it’s in the mood.
I’ll be back later,
:)
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