Someone remind me why I need him around?

Today I unloaded cut firewood from my truck, went to vacuum and wash it out since it was full of sawdust and other kid related debris, cleaned the filter in the turtle tank (can you say, “EWWWWW”?), cleaned the pool filter, figured out why the automatic pool vacuum wasn’t working (he turned the valve off), made construction paper turkeys and a paper chain (ok, mom did most of the chain), made dinner, did countless dishes from breakfast, lunch and dinner, sat and watched 10 minutes of “Coming to America” with him and the girls (to keep him from getting them all hyper before bed), put the girls in bed, cleaned the kitchen, fixed his computer and did laundry. I’m sure I missed a few things. Oh, like getting 25 gallons of water from the kiosk down the street. And picking up doggie land mines in the back yard.

Where was he for most of this? On his ass watching tv and ignoring his family or out with a friend looking at restaurants (which I sure as fuck hope he doesn’t plan on trying to buy - I’ve had just about enough of that bullshit from this area). He came home drunk. Asked me 40 times what the kids were eating (as I’m trying to cook he insists on bobbing and wobbling around me “planning” the meal I’m already half done making). then he passed out on his chair for 30 minutes while I cooked and was all confused as to why I was in a bad mood.

I’m really trying to get past this being pissed off all the time, but I’m afraid that until I get the nerve to tell him to just not come home again…I’m not gonna be able to do it. I keep trying though..
Ok, so…If I did all that shit myself, then why do I need him?

Money? No.

Sex? Ever try to have sex with a drunk person? Unless you are drunk too, it’s not any fun. And I established a “get drunk and miss out on sex for the next 12 hours” rule a long long time ago.

Conversation? HA!!! Don’t make me laugh.

I’ve run out of reasons why I really need him. And I frequently feel the overwhelming urge to just hit him with something. Frying pan…bag of cat food…whatever. I’m not picky. I do try not to hate him, but I’m just not able to convince myself that it’s worth trusting, believing or even just trying to have a normal day with him. I’m always disappointed.

For some reason I’m really tired.  Gonna get to bed so I can wake up early and start all over again.  See you happy campers tomorrow.

:)