My son deploys tomorrow and suddenly my whole world shifts again. He's not headed to Afghanistan yet but he's leaving the United States so it's scary and nerve wracking and as much as he's excited, I'm scared to death.
My own travel plans have been delayed by a week, but that was due to my inability to count pay days. I'll be leaving the 15th (or shortly thereafter) to head to Florida to be with my two totally amazing princesses. I'm very excited about being back in their life full time, and a little excited and apprehensive about driving across the country by myself. It's going to be quite the adventure!!!
And to update the divorce/custody crap: We have had an agreement for a couple of weeks. I had a copy signed and notarized and sent to him to submit to the court..but as usual, there is no word from him as to whether he actually submitted it or not. It's really not going to be easy for him to blame me for this delay this time when I have email records of our correspondence as well as my own notarized copy of the Marital Settlement Agreement and Parenting Plan.
I'm really ready for this to be over. I'm not sure he is ready to give up control (as if he actually has it! lol)
Gotta go work!
(I'm) Raising a can of Red Bull to your Peace, love and pursuit of happiness!!
Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts
Monday, June 04, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Moving forward. Again.
It's been a long time since I posted. Since December actually.
Sometimes I'm afraid to keep blogging, because I'm still scared he's going to find out and come completely unhinged. His full name isn't on here, and I doubt anyone he knows would ever read it...but God forbid ANYONE know his personal business. I honestly don't know how far his reaction would go.
But then, I start thinking and decide...Screw it! He did what he did, I did what I did and I don't give a shit who knows. The people who matter to me know the truth and those that spread lies and think they know the whole story can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned. They no longer exist to me.
Things have come a long way since I wrote my last post in December. I'm in California still, but life is about the change drastically again. I'm heading back to Florida in a few weeks and will spend the majority of my time there because that is where my kids are going to be for a while. My heart can't exist this far away anymore. And it's not fair to the girls to keep this fight going. They deserve both parents and a stress free life.
I will be heading back to Florida a different person entirely. I'm not sure anyone is going to like who they are getting back. It's going to be very interesting.
Sometimes I'm afraid to keep blogging, because I'm still scared he's going to find out and come completely unhinged. His full name isn't on here, and I doubt anyone he knows would ever read it...but God forbid ANYONE know his personal business. I honestly don't know how far his reaction would go.
But then, I start thinking and decide...Screw it! He did what he did, I did what I did and I don't give a shit who knows. The people who matter to me know the truth and those that spread lies and think they know the whole story can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned. They no longer exist to me.
Things have come a long way since I wrote my last post in December. I'm in California still, but life is about the change drastically again. I'm heading back to Florida in a few weeks and will spend the majority of my time there because that is where my kids are going to be for a while. My heart can't exist this far away anymore. And it's not fair to the girls to keep this fight going. They deserve both parents and a stress free life.
I will be heading back to Florida a different person entirely. I'm not sure anyone is going to like who they are getting back. It's going to be very interesting.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
I need an interpreter
A few weeks ago Tom asked me to send him a bill for the design work I had done on his websites and the art for his business cards and brochures...so I did. I also included his website hosting bill. He never responded. I was too busy to go chase him so I just waited. Then the deadline for paying the hosting came and went and I did what he would have done himself. I suspended the service. I pay for his bandwidth, and I can't afford to pay so he can earn money and not pay his bills. Yes, I know I'm sounding like him now. I'm sure that was his reasoning when he called and cancelled my car insurance. Yes, I could have called him and asked if he was going to pay it and when and then maybe given him a little more time to pay it, but I also have deadlines, so he would only get a few days. Of course, he could have called me and said can you get your car insurance all set up before the date this one renews so I can take my bank account off the insurance autopay? That would have been lovely. It would also have saved me a lot of money and hassle. But that's never been his way of doing things. He's a control freak, he is always right and he always does things his way. So I decided to play things his way. His deadline came, and ok...I waited another 2 weeks almost (I'm always optimistic that people will see the right way to do things and change their ways), after 2 weeks with no payment, I turned off his email and websites. He asked what it would take to get them back on. I told him $60, just like the invoice I sent said.
So...does he send me $60 to cover his bill? Does he ask if I can wait another week? Does he try to even be reasonable? Nope! He simply tells me he's turning off my cell phone.
See? He doesn't pay his bill, I do what he would have done, what any business would have done, and he finds another way to make it not his fault and he'll punish me for having the nerve to do business in a normal manner.
He's a vindictive horrible person.
And it gets better.
Me, being the moron I am, talk to him and turn his sites back on (without being paid yet) because it's going to hurt his business, blah blah...whatever. Anyway, I turn them back on. Then we discuss the invoice I sent weeks ago (that he still says he never got and that I have since sent a new copy to the new email he set up). He went through the list and told me to send a new invoice with just a few hand picked items on there. He also asked exactly when the hosting had to be paid. Originally it was 11-1-11, but I covered that for him, now I told him 11-17-11, but if he was having a hard time paying that 11-25-11 was the final date to pay before it would all get shut off. He was fine on the phone. Oh, and I also let him know that I had updated my change of address and was now getting the electric bill and verizon bill, since they were still in my name. I explained that all I did was change my address to get my own mail, not try to get his bills, but that I'd be happy to send information as it came in. He was definitely a little weird about that...but what difference is it if I get my mail? Unless he's doing stuff in my name? Hmmmmmmm...
Anyway, he immediately called his lawyer regarding the bills (don't ask how I know, I have my sources) and then when I sent a follow up to the invoice for the hosting and other stuff, he sent back an email saying he didn't respond to extortion. WTF??? Why would he talk on the phone with me, work out what he could afford, have me send an invoice for just those items, and then tell me it's extortion?? He's freaking nuts!!!
I have learned a little bit during this last week. I send copies of everything I send him to his lawyer. I also include Tom's responses. Let his lawyer see how insane he really is...
So...does he send me $60 to cover his bill? Does he ask if I can wait another week? Does he try to even be reasonable? Nope! He simply tells me he's turning off my cell phone.
See? He doesn't pay his bill, I do what he would have done, what any business would have done, and he finds another way to make it not his fault and he'll punish me for having the nerve to do business in a normal manner.
He's a vindictive horrible person.
And it gets better.
Me, being the moron I am, talk to him and turn his sites back on (without being paid yet) because it's going to hurt his business, blah blah...whatever. Anyway, I turn them back on. Then we discuss the invoice I sent weeks ago (that he still says he never got and that I have since sent a new copy to the new email he set up). He went through the list and told me to send a new invoice with just a few hand picked items on there. He also asked exactly when the hosting had to be paid. Originally it was 11-1-11, but I covered that for him, now I told him 11-17-11, but if he was having a hard time paying that 11-25-11 was the final date to pay before it would all get shut off. He was fine on the phone. Oh, and I also let him know that I had updated my change of address and was now getting the electric bill and verizon bill, since they were still in my name. I explained that all I did was change my address to get my own mail, not try to get his bills, but that I'd be happy to send information as it came in. He was definitely a little weird about that...but what difference is it if I get my mail? Unless he's doing stuff in my name? Hmmmmmmm...
Anyway, he immediately called his lawyer regarding the bills (don't ask how I know, I have my sources) and then when I sent a follow up to the invoice for the hosting and other stuff, he sent back an email saying he didn't respond to extortion. WTF??? Why would he talk on the phone with me, work out what he could afford, have me send an invoice for just those items, and then tell me it's extortion?? He's freaking nuts!!!
I have learned a little bit during this last week. I send copies of everything I send him to his lawyer. I also include Tom's responses. Let his lawyer see how insane he really is...
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Emotional and financial abuse
I've been following a Facebook page that discusses emotional and financial abuse. I really never thought of things like eliminating my access to the bank account or making our financial problems my fault after keeping me from working were considered abuse. But it does make sense. It's a way of control. It's a way to make you feel like you have no way of making a change or making a difference in what is happening to you.
I made the move to California to get away from his control. My mom is pissed at me because she said I didn't listen to her and do it the right way. First of all, she never told me much more than just be careful. What does that mean? I was freaking DYING! Tom had sucked every ounce of my will to exist out of my soul. If it weren't for my kids I'd have just gone to bed one day and never woken up. My soul was that empty. I was in so much pain and then sometime in the last few years I just became numb. Circumstances brought me to where I met the people I know in California and I swear it was by divine intervention that I was led here.
I have faith that I'm on the right path and I have faith that this will work out for the girls. The girls are my motivation for all I do. They are my soul. They kept me alive and made life worth waking up for each day, even with his extreme negativity and the threat of violent outburst at anything I did throughout the day. They are my angels.
It really hurts that my mother and ex-friends all believe that I would abandon my kids to come to California. They think I left them for a man. How can someone who says they are my friend and especially MY MOTHER, who should know me better, tell people that? How can they spread that lie that only is true in their mind, because it's not at all what happened? Those girls are my life, and no one comes before them. I came to California to build a different life for them where they can be free to be themselves, where no one else will make them feel guilty because of their feelings. Yes, I was stupid to believe that Tom would every hold up his end of the bargain...he hasn't told the truth or held up his end of an agreement since I met him so I can't even tell you why I believed that he would let the girls come out as soon as I got myself settled here. I just wanted to believe that he could be decent. I wanted to believe so bad that life was going to get bettter. I wanted to believe that he cared enough about the girls to not keep them away from me. He never wanted anything to do with us when I was there, before I left him. Then he only wanted to call from around the corner and show up whenever he wanted to. HE USED TO FREAKING CRAWL IN THE WINDOW OF OUR HOUSE WHEN THE GIRLS AND I WERE SLEEPING!!!!! Can you say "STALKER???" He's scary and his way of rationalizing things is warped beyond a level of being able to deal with him.
This past week he threatened to turn off my phone because I shut off his websites for not paying his hosting bill. The judge said he needed to pay my cell phone, he didn't say I had to support Tom's insurance business websites. I sent him invoices that he conveniently says he didn't receive. That's not my problem, just like him decreasing my insurance coverage and then cancelling it wasn't his problem.
I think the worst part of this, after the fact that I'm not with my girls, is that he and my mother and everyone in their little circle is convinced they are right and I'm wrong. They think I'm wrong for trying to get my kids away from an abusive person and at least let them live part of the year in an emotionally safe environment, where they can learn to distinguish between healthy and non-healthy relationship. So...then they support the abuse and want it to continue. That's just sick.
Seeing my mother like this has brought back some memories as a kid...memories that are filling in blanks. My mom has always told me how my dad made our house unbearable...but he was never really there. She was. So if she was the one there, then she made the house unbearable. Right? And if my dad was so bad, then she was the one who should have fixed the problem. She should have gotten us out of there. So she made my life hell when I was a kid and now she's helping to make my kids lives hell.
On the almost bright side, I've started to develop a relationship with my dad, so I guess I'm not a total orphan...although at this point, I'm so numb when it comes to these people who were supposed to love you and protect you and do anything for you...I just don't think I care much any more.
I made the move to California to get away from his control. My mom is pissed at me because she said I didn't listen to her and do it the right way. First of all, she never told me much more than just be careful. What does that mean? I was freaking DYING! Tom had sucked every ounce of my will to exist out of my soul. If it weren't for my kids I'd have just gone to bed one day and never woken up. My soul was that empty. I was in so much pain and then sometime in the last few years I just became numb. Circumstances brought me to where I met the people I know in California and I swear it was by divine intervention that I was led here.
I have faith that I'm on the right path and I have faith that this will work out for the girls. The girls are my motivation for all I do. They are my soul. They kept me alive and made life worth waking up for each day, even with his extreme negativity and the threat of violent outburst at anything I did throughout the day. They are my angels.
It really hurts that my mother and ex-friends all believe that I would abandon my kids to come to California. They think I left them for a man. How can someone who says they are my friend and especially MY MOTHER, who should know me better, tell people that? How can they spread that lie that only is true in their mind, because it's not at all what happened? Those girls are my life, and no one comes before them. I came to California to build a different life for them where they can be free to be themselves, where no one else will make them feel guilty because of their feelings. Yes, I was stupid to believe that Tom would every hold up his end of the bargain...he hasn't told the truth or held up his end of an agreement since I met him so I can't even tell you why I believed that he would let the girls come out as soon as I got myself settled here. I just wanted to believe that he could be decent. I wanted to believe so bad that life was going to get bettter. I wanted to believe that he cared enough about the girls to not keep them away from me. He never wanted anything to do with us when I was there, before I left him. Then he only wanted to call from around the corner and show up whenever he wanted to. HE USED TO FREAKING CRAWL IN THE WINDOW OF OUR HOUSE WHEN THE GIRLS AND I WERE SLEEPING!!!!! Can you say "STALKER???" He's scary and his way of rationalizing things is warped beyond a level of being able to deal with him.
This past week he threatened to turn off my phone because I shut off his websites for not paying his hosting bill. The judge said he needed to pay my cell phone, he didn't say I had to support Tom's insurance business websites. I sent him invoices that he conveniently says he didn't receive. That's not my problem, just like him decreasing my insurance coverage and then cancelling it wasn't his problem.
I think the worst part of this, after the fact that I'm not with my girls, is that he and my mother and everyone in their little circle is convinced they are right and I'm wrong. They think I'm wrong for trying to get my kids away from an abusive person and at least let them live part of the year in an emotionally safe environment, where they can learn to distinguish between healthy and non-healthy relationship. So...then they support the abuse and want it to continue. That's just sick.
Seeing my mother like this has brought back some memories as a kid...memories that are filling in blanks. My mom has always told me how my dad made our house unbearable...but he was never really there. She was. So if she was the one there, then she made the house unbearable. Right? And if my dad was so bad, then she was the one who should have fixed the problem. She should have gotten us out of there. So she made my life hell when I was a kid and now she's helping to make my kids lives hell.
On the almost bright side, I've started to develop a relationship with my dad, so I guess I'm not a total orphan...although at this point, I'm so numb when it comes to these people who were supposed to love you and protect you and do anything for you...I just don't think I care much any more.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
I guess the only one who is going to get me out of this hell is me
God, that sucks. These last few weeks have been busy and surreal. The more I work, the worse he gets. The more I feel good about me, the more he attacks me. Tonight was the kicker though. And I honestly think I’m just provoking him now to get him to fucking leave already. But the girls were crying and he was breaking things and it’s just gone too far. I had him at the fucking door, he was finally getting out and then the girls were just so fucking upset that I took them to their room and somehow the bastard is still here! He’s passed out in his chair in the living room. What the hell????
He was just freaking spewing hate at me tonight, I was really actually scared at one point but refused to walk away because he just pushed me over the edge. He detests me. He didn’t lose hundreds of thousands of our money..it was HIS money so I have some big balls to dare throw that in his face. This is after he blasted me for only making $1000 this month and said that I hadn’t made any money in our whole relationship (hey fucko!! I quit a $40,000 a year plus benefits and retirement to stay home because YOU wanted me to!!!) Oh, and did I mention I was there for 5 years? Paying HIS house bills. Paying for HIS car. Paying the bills he refused to open because he couldn’t pay them. I was so fucking stupid. If I hadn’t gotten the girls from this relationship I’d say it was a major mistake, but I can’t imagine the thought of existing without either of these awesome kids.
Well, after the first half of our war, he went and punched a hole in the bathroom door. Actually it’s a dent, but it’s a very old door, somewhat solid and has a full-door sized mirror on the other side. He’s fucking lucky that didn’t break. Then he smashed a cup all over the bathroom. I took pics this time. I also caught the towel rack that he ripped off the wall and his stack of Playboys that he refuses to put out of view of the girls in my pics. just in case i forget these things. It’s good to have a reminder.
So, he also says I spend all my time on the computer. (wrong) He says I neglect my kids so I can sit in here and do “whatever it is I do” on my computer. (wrong) He says I’m selfish and that I’m the most selfish motherfucker out there ( I do believe those were his exact words) and then told me I am just like my father (which would have been an attempt to hurt my feelings) and just like my mother (another attempt, I think) and then he just kept on fluctuating between calling me names and daring me to keep attacking him! I told him he drank too much, that was me attacking him. Obviously, on his planet, that warrants scaring the fuck out of your kids, coming within an inch of taking your wife’s head off (and sacrificing the door and an innocent cup instead) and walking out on your family (although somehow he never got out the door and passed out 3 ft from it in a chair instead).
And this whole time I’m thinking he’s insane. He’s flipped his fucking lid. But he hits the right buttons, because within 10 minutes I’m in tears in the girls room and can’t stop them from coming, and the girls are now sufficiently freaked out…and i kept trying to tell them it was ok, but I can’t stop crying…what if I am a horrible mom? What if I am selfish and I just don’t know it? what if I’m making their life worse? I am so full of doubt about myself right now that I’m crying again.
I have to go make myself a coffee and just get this out of my system. I’m sure I’ll be back.
Oh, and did I mention I spent friday (my birthday) and saturday puking my guts out with a 102 average fever and he was upset that I didn’t hop off the couch that I was passed out on when he got home to tend to his needs? Fucker.
Ok, I’m really going for coffee now, just had to get a little pissed to keep it all in perspective.
:)
He was just freaking spewing hate at me tonight, I was really actually scared at one point but refused to walk away because he just pushed me over the edge. He detests me. He didn’t lose hundreds of thousands of our money..it was HIS money so I have some big balls to dare throw that in his face. This is after he blasted me for only making $1000 this month and said that I hadn’t made any money in our whole relationship (hey fucko!! I quit a $40,000 a year plus benefits and retirement to stay home because YOU wanted me to!!!) Oh, and did I mention I was there for 5 years? Paying HIS house bills. Paying for HIS car. Paying the bills he refused to open because he couldn’t pay them. I was so fucking stupid. If I hadn’t gotten the girls from this relationship I’d say it was a major mistake, but I can’t imagine the thought of existing without either of these awesome kids.
Well, after the first half of our war, he went and punched a hole in the bathroom door. Actually it’s a dent, but it’s a very old door, somewhat solid and has a full-door sized mirror on the other side. He’s fucking lucky that didn’t break. Then he smashed a cup all over the bathroom. I took pics this time. I also caught the towel rack that he ripped off the wall and his stack of Playboys that he refuses to put out of view of the girls in my pics. just in case i forget these things. It’s good to have a reminder.
 |
| Damage he did to the door (old, heavy duty door) when he was mad at me. |
 |
| Broken plastic cup he blasted to bits when he threw it at the door. (Heavy duty plastic cup from our pizzeria) |
 | |
| More bits of plastic cup |
 |
| Stack of Playboys, right in view of kids |
And this whole time I’m thinking he’s insane. He’s flipped his fucking lid. But he hits the right buttons, because within 10 minutes I’m in tears in the girls room and can’t stop them from coming, and the girls are now sufficiently freaked out…and i kept trying to tell them it was ok, but I can’t stop crying…what if I am a horrible mom? What if I am selfish and I just don’t know it? what if I’m making their life worse? I am so full of doubt about myself right now that I’m crying again.
I have to go make myself a coffee and just get this out of my system. I’m sure I’ll be back.
Oh, and did I mention I spent friday (my birthday) and saturday puking my guts out with a 102 average fever and he was upset that I didn’t hop off the couch that I was passed out on when he got home to tend to his needs? Fucker.
Ok, I’m really going for coffee now, just had to get a little pissed to keep it all in perspective.
:)
Thursday, November 09, 2006
to make this more relevant to my own life…
as opposed to bitching about all this external stuff 
Things here are the same. He’s a drunk, I’m working my ass off to earn money to get us out of the $200,000+ hole that he dug, and teaching the kids and cleaning the house, and fixing all the shit he’s broken when he’s drunk. I’m tired, worn out and all my latest bitchings have been a result I think. I’m a crabby bitch. Plus I’ve had no jobs come in in a few days so I’ve had time on my hands. Time is sometimes a bad thing. I’ve had time to stop and look around. And I don’t like what I see.
My office is almost clean but I don’t like how it’s set up. Me being pushed into a corner with my computer not visible by anyone who happens to stop by (see previous post for why) has me a bit closterphobic. The kitchen is a lost freaking cause. I clean it, he comes by and destroys it. He thinks he’s at work. He actually sweeps the crap off the counter and onto the floor. Like the dishwasher (guy not machine) is gonna come by with a broom and get it, and later mop down the whole room to grab the grease that hit the floor too. He makes messes, bitches when it’s dirty and doesn’t do a fucking thing to help clean it. Our bedroom? I think Meg’s ex and my husband must be related to a degree. While he’s big on personal hygiene, he’s a fucking slob with his clothes and items that came out of his pockets. His side of the bed has a pile of underwear and socks that the dog keeps pushing under the bed. They are starting to come out under my side of the bed now. And he has the balls to bitch at me cause he can’t find underwear. DUH! The kids side of the house is almost a losing battle, but I refuse to give in there. They will learn to keep their space at least sort of clean dammit!! I will not let them go out into the world thinking that they aren’t worth living in a clean environment. I’m not talking spotless. I’m not talking about living without some small piles here and there. I’m talking about not living with food from last night that got dropped on the floor and no one noticed, or mentioned to me so I could clean it. I’m talking about not leaving a pile of toys and going to find a new pile of toys to drop on the floor. I’m talking about having a floor that you can see, that is clean and knowing where your bed ends and the pile of toys begins. My kids and I are all learning how to take care of a house at the same time. I’m not great at it, but I’m getting better every day. That’s all anyone can do. So I don’t beat myself up over it.
ok, gotta go clean now that I’m thinking about it. The DirectTV guy is coming to see why one of the tv’s only gets some channels when it’s in the mood.
I’ll be back later,
:)
Things here are the same. He’s a drunk, I’m working my ass off to earn money to get us out of the $200,000+ hole that he dug, and teaching the kids and cleaning the house, and fixing all the shit he’s broken when he’s drunk. I’m tired, worn out and all my latest bitchings have been a result I think. I’m a crabby bitch. Plus I’ve had no jobs come in in a few days so I’ve had time on my hands. Time is sometimes a bad thing. I’ve had time to stop and look around. And I don’t like what I see.
My office is almost clean but I don’t like how it’s set up. Me being pushed into a corner with my computer not visible by anyone who happens to stop by (see previous post for why) has me a bit closterphobic. The kitchen is a lost freaking cause. I clean it, he comes by and destroys it. He thinks he’s at work. He actually sweeps the crap off the counter and onto the floor. Like the dishwasher (guy not machine) is gonna come by with a broom and get it, and later mop down the whole room to grab the grease that hit the floor too. He makes messes, bitches when it’s dirty and doesn’t do a fucking thing to help clean it. Our bedroom? I think Meg’s ex and my husband must be related to a degree. While he’s big on personal hygiene, he’s a fucking slob with his clothes and items that came out of his pockets. His side of the bed has a pile of underwear and socks that the dog keeps pushing under the bed. They are starting to come out under my side of the bed now. And he has the balls to bitch at me cause he can’t find underwear. DUH! The kids side of the house is almost a losing battle, but I refuse to give in there. They will learn to keep their space at least sort of clean dammit!! I will not let them go out into the world thinking that they aren’t worth living in a clean environment. I’m not talking spotless. I’m not talking about living without some small piles here and there. I’m talking about not living with food from last night that got dropped on the floor and no one noticed, or mentioned to me so I could clean it. I’m talking about not leaving a pile of toys and going to find a new pile of toys to drop on the floor. I’m talking about having a floor that you can see, that is clean and knowing where your bed ends and the pile of toys begins. My kids and I are all learning how to take care of a house at the same time. I’m not great at it, but I’m getting better every day. That’s all anyone can do. So I don’t beat myself up over it.
ok, gotta go clean now that I’m thinking about it. The DirectTV guy is coming to see why one of the tv’s only gets some channels when it’s in the mood.
I’ll be back later,
:)
Irresponsible reporting by the Tampa Tribune
I am appalled and ashamed to live in the area covered by this newspaper. I feel dirty and tainted just because I’ve contributed to their business (I subscribed) in the past.
Some obviously bored and ignorant reporters have taken it upon themselves to ruin a mans life. I guess it happens all the time but this time I happened to actually read the news this morning with my coffee. These ignorant individuals have fished out the story of year!! It’s gonna make the earth stop turning!! They’ve saved humanity with their wonderful research skills!! They’ve dug up a gay porn company that is owned by a man working for the Tampa-Hillsborough County Expressway Authority and exposed his privately owned, has nothing at all to do with his job there, company. Oooookay. First of all…what does this have to do with his ability to do a job? Has he done something wrong to instigate someone searching his private activities? Or has he perhaps annoyed someone by speaking up and that someone thought they’d get even by spewing about his private business?
Have they thought about the facts that:
What someone does in their own time is their own business. And in this town…you have got to be kidding. Tampa is one of the biggest hubs of Adult businesses. There are so many adult webmasters here it’s not even funny. How do I know? Where do you think I learned the cutting edge design that I do? Where did I learn to program? Where did I learn about SEO? Yup, you got it. After searching for jobs in this economic hell hole (Tampa Bay area) and being forced to decide between working in McDonalds or doing design for the local paper (the very same one that ruinned this mans life - of course if they get paid what they pay designers then it’s no wonder they are bitter and evil) I started looking for alternatives.
When the paper wants to pay minimum wage to someone with years of experience, and local businesses haven’t got the money to hire people to do the marketing and advertising they need…and a small adult website was willing to pay me $800 a week…guess who I decided to work for? It’s a no brainer for me. My kids need to eat, I took the job.
And after working with these people…I’d prefer them to the hypocritical, supposedly Christian, bible thumpers here (there are way too many customers from these local isp’s for them to all be as pure as they claim). The webmasters I work with are honest, they make contributions to charity, they are fighting child exploitment, they are the ones watching the internet and getting the scumbags that do that to kids thrown in jail. Who do you think tips off the government? Sure wasn’t that neighbor who got busted for molesting a 9 year old…that CHRISTIAN all the neighbors and the family swear is a fine upstanding man. Nope, it’s adult webmasters who are in a position to alert someone when their is a dirtbag on the net. But these same people get “exposed” by the ignorant, they lose their day jobs, they are ostracized by society…the same society that pays $35 a month to join their porn sites. It’s disgusting.
Ok, so now you all know I have designed adult sites. Honestly, I design all sites. I work for myself now. I will design anything as long as it’s legal. I’m also good and I’m not cheap anymore due to what I’ve learned in the adult industry. I’ve also learned about business and networking from these people. And they are more in touch with reality than the clueless sheeple that walk around being shocked when someone owns an adult site.
If people would stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, and start taking care of their own world…this would be a much nicer place to live. And if the guy that I pay to fix my car also owns an adult website…well then, more power to him! I wish him the best.
You know, the losers who exposed this poor man could have at least linked to his sites so he’d get the benefit of some inbound links.
What a waste.
Some obviously bored and ignorant reporters have taken it upon themselves to ruin a mans life. I guess it happens all the time but this time I happened to actually read the news this morning with my coffee. These ignorant individuals have fished out the story of year!! It’s gonna make the earth stop turning!! They’ve saved humanity with their wonderful research skills!! They’ve dug up a gay porn company that is owned by a man working for the Tampa-Hillsborough County Expressway Authority and exposed his privately owned, has nothing at all to do with his job there, company. Oooookay. First of all…what does this have to do with his ability to do a job? Has he done something wrong to instigate someone searching his private activities? Or has he perhaps annoyed someone by speaking up and that someone thought they’d get even by spewing about his private business?
Have they thought about the facts that:
- His business is legal
- No one is being hurt or exploited, it’s all adults involved
- He’s not mixing the two businesses, and as far as their article implies, one does not interfere with the other.
- They’ve just eliminated the mans major livelyhood
- His family will most likely have to move when they can’t pay their bills. After the water is shut off. After the electricity is shut off. After their cars are taken away. And hopefully before the bank takes their home.
- They’ve allowed their own PERSONAL moral beliefs to RUIN a man’s life.
What someone does in their own time is their own business. And in this town…you have got to be kidding. Tampa is one of the biggest hubs of Adult businesses. There are so many adult webmasters here it’s not even funny. How do I know? Where do you think I learned the cutting edge design that I do? Where did I learn to program? Where did I learn about SEO? Yup, you got it. After searching for jobs in this economic hell hole (Tampa Bay area) and being forced to decide between working in McDonalds or doing design for the local paper (the very same one that ruinned this mans life - of course if they get paid what they pay designers then it’s no wonder they are bitter and evil) I started looking for alternatives.
When the paper wants to pay minimum wage to someone with years of experience, and local businesses haven’t got the money to hire people to do the marketing and advertising they need…and a small adult website was willing to pay me $800 a week…guess who I decided to work for? It’s a no brainer for me. My kids need to eat, I took the job.
And after working with these people…I’d prefer them to the hypocritical, supposedly Christian, bible thumpers here (there are way too many customers from these local isp’s for them to all be as pure as they claim). The webmasters I work with are honest, they make contributions to charity, they are fighting child exploitment, they are the ones watching the internet and getting the scumbags that do that to kids thrown in jail. Who do you think tips off the government? Sure wasn’t that neighbor who got busted for molesting a 9 year old…that CHRISTIAN all the neighbors and the family swear is a fine upstanding man. Nope, it’s adult webmasters who are in a position to alert someone when their is a dirtbag on the net. But these same people get “exposed” by the ignorant, they lose their day jobs, they are ostracized by society…the same society that pays $35 a month to join their porn sites. It’s disgusting.
Ok, so now you all know I have designed adult sites. Honestly, I design all sites. I work for myself now. I will design anything as long as it’s legal. I’m also good and I’m not cheap anymore due to what I’ve learned in the adult industry. I’ve also learned about business and networking from these people. And they are more in touch with reality than the clueless sheeple that walk around being shocked when someone owns an adult site.
If people would stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, and start taking care of their own world…this would be a much nicer place to live. And if the guy that I pay to fix my car also owns an adult website…well then, more power to him! I wish him the best.
You know, the losers who exposed this poor man could have at least linked to his sites so he’d get the benefit of some inbound links.
What a waste.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I try to keep my spirits high but the scumbags keep dragging me back down
Hey all.
I’ve spent the last week or so trying to get my work world back in order. I’m close but not quite there. And of course, there are reasons why. And I swear nothing I had any control over.
Reason why I’m not on track yet #1:
My bloody ceiling on my lanai (screened room for those of you not familiar) collapsed. I’m thinking that one peice of sheet rock will be enough to repair it BUT where is it coming from? It seems that there is a seal that is broken but no one quite knows where it is coming from. So they have to tear up a big chunk of roof.
Reason why I’m not on track yet #2:
And this just happened about 2 hours ago, so it’s really not a good reason but fuck it, it’s my blog…I can write whatever I want, right??
Some fuckwad loser in my neighborhood (Gulf Harbors) sent me hate mail because they thought my grass was too high. ooooookay. First, in my defence, let me say that I did have a landscaper, at least until 3 weeks ago. And he’s just disappeared. I got no notice so I wasn’t prepared to get another. I also can’t really afford a new one and who says they will show up after I’ve paid them? So we got my father-in-laws mower and mowed it Saturday. Today I get a letter calling us “pigs” and that we should be ashamed of how we live and that we should move out. What kind of sick fuck goes through the trouble of searching for our names (which he spelled wrong) and then mailing a letter via the post office (without a return address, of course). And why would anyone be so freaking nasty? I consider it a very scary, threatening letter and as soon as I calm down, I’m reporting it to the police. I mean, I have kids…and this person seems to know the state of affairs in my home…my home that you can’t see in anywhere without being up in my windows. I’m actually frightened of some lunatic out there with a grudge against me because my grass was too long and ruining his neighborhood. I wonder if the rest of the landscapers clients that he abandoned also got letters. I’ve posted on our neighborhood website, but that will probably get deleted as it puts the negative in a spotlight. I think the website is intended to attract attention and intice prospective buyers. but I don’t know for sure, I’ll wait and see.
I am just so pissed off right now. Who is this piece of shit who sends letters to people calling them names and telling them to move out of the neighborhood??
Must be a person with a serious small-dick complex. And it could be a woman, I don’t know for sure it’s a man. All I know is that they are warped and scary and I’m reporting it to the police in case they decide that me bitching about them in a public forum in our precious neighborhood message board was going too far. I just wish the coward had come up and knocked on the door. I’d have let the dog show them the way off the property.
Ok, I disappear for a week and come back more hostile than ever. I’m sure that is quite appealing, huh? I’m gonna go get some coffee, do some work and try to calm the hell down.
But I’m not promising anything.
I’ve spent the last week or so trying to get my work world back in order. I’m close but not quite there. And of course, there are reasons why. And I swear nothing I had any control over.
Reason why I’m not on track yet #1:
My bloody ceiling on my lanai (screened room for those of you not familiar) collapsed. I’m thinking that one peice of sheet rock will be enough to repair it BUT where is it coming from? It seems that there is a seal that is broken but no one quite knows where it is coming from. So they have to tear up a big chunk of roof.
Reason why I’m not on track yet #2:
And this just happened about 2 hours ago, so it’s really not a good reason but fuck it, it’s my blog…I can write whatever I want, right??
Some fuckwad loser in my neighborhood (Gulf Harbors) sent me hate mail because they thought my grass was too high. ooooookay. First, in my defence, let me say that I did have a landscaper, at least until 3 weeks ago. And he’s just disappeared. I got no notice so I wasn’t prepared to get another. I also can’t really afford a new one and who says they will show up after I’ve paid them? So we got my father-in-laws mower and mowed it Saturday. Today I get a letter calling us “pigs” and that we should be ashamed of how we live and that we should move out. What kind of sick fuck goes through the trouble of searching for our names (which he spelled wrong) and then mailing a letter via the post office (without a return address, of course). And why would anyone be so freaking nasty? I consider it a very scary, threatening letter and as soon as I calm down, I’m reporting it to the police. I mean, I have kids…and this person seems to know the state of affairs in my home…my home that you can’t see in anywhere without being up in my windows. I’m actually frightened of some lunatic out there with a grudge against me because my grass was too long and ruining his neighborhood. I wonder if the rest of the landscapers clients that he abandoned also got letters. I’ve posted on our neighborhood website, but that will probably get deleted as it puts the negative in a spotlight. I think the website is intended to attract attention and intice prospective buyers. but I don’t know for sure, I’ll wait and see.
I am just so pissed off right now. Who is this piece of shit who sends letters to people calling them names and telling them to move out of the neighborhood??
Must be a person with a serious small-dick complex. And it could be a woman, I don’t know for sure it’s a man. All I know is that they are warped and scary and I’m reporting it to the police in case they decide that me bitching about them in a public forum in our precious neighborhood message board was going too far. I just wish the coward had come up and knocked on the door. I’d have let the dog show them the way off the property.
Ok, I disappear for a week and come back more hostile than ever. I’m sure that is quite appealing, huh? I’m gonna go get some coffee, do some work and try to calm the hell down.
But I’m not promising anything.
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