Everyday I feel the threads of my sanity snapping…one by one…

So…after a relatively busy day with the munchkins…gymnastics, shopping, etc…we come home to find his laptop on the front porch.  By itself.  Hrmmmmmm….

The door is locked and his computer is outside just sitting on the porch, which is not normal, no matter how odd things are around here.  So I unlock the door and he’s in the chair passed out.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

After asking the drunken asshole why he left his computer outside, I almost freaked when he told me he had to break in cause he didn’t have a key.

Alright, at this point, I need Xanex.

After unloading groceries and putting everything away, getting girls in bed and the animals all sorted with dinner…I have to go find out how he “broke in”.

I found nothing.  So I went and not so nicely poked him in the side and asked exactly how he broke in.  He said he came in the garage door.  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  He had me searching windows inside and out to figure out how the hell he broke in and he used the keypad to open the garage door and come in that way.  He’s lucky he didn’t wake up to being beaten with a laptop.  Which, by the way, I brought inside.  I was contemplating leaving it outside but then realized that when he had to shell out $800 for a dead or missing laptop, it would be coming out of my pocket too.

My hormones are raging these last few days.  Like I can feel them surging at times.  It’s scary.  He better hope my period starts soon, that’s all I’m saying.

I keep having these bizarre thoughts that I should try to be nicer to him…I should help him out once in a while.  But then he comes home drunk and all I want to do is ship him off…anywhere, I could care less…so I can focus on the important things in life…like the kids.  I’m so frustrated and upset by him that the kids suffer and it’s not freaking right.  It’s like he gets bonus points from some testosterone God for making our lives so chaotic that I can’t focus.

Well, I’m getting control on that, it’s just really hard when I have serious major PMS. But I’m still trying.

Alright, I think I’m actually tired enough to sleep, even with all the snoring (including mine, I’m sure I do it too).

Have a great night!!

:)