Updates from the land of chaos

Things here are the same, pretty much.  I’m building my business and working on providing enough income to support myself and the girls.  And the dog, cat and turtles.  Probably the saltwater tank since it’s been reduced to one for now.  The girls and I will most likely be at moms again in a day or so, since the power here will be getting shut off.  Never a dull day here.  I’m juggling two major clients, a handful of small ones and some big internal projects…I’m psyched and moving forward, despite dragging his dead weight.  And no matter how much I make, it’s just not enough.  The hole is too big.  And he’s basically hiding in his office watching YouTube (my 8 year old’s desciption of how dad spends his time, not mine) and bitching about how everyone else is a bunch of lazy, worthless, miserable assholes that are just trying to fuck with him.

*sigh*

Well, all we can do is keep moving forward, right?

I went and had my nails done this weekend after a marketing seminar that I went to.  I hadn’t planned on it, but my mom and the girls were there still when I got done so I met them.  They were having a girls day out (avoiding dad and the cloud of misery) and having quite a good time.   I have day-glo pink nails that you can probably see from 10 miles away.  The girls picked it out.  I love it. 
I spent so much of my life in dark or natural colors…trying to blend into the wall I think.  My Best Friend in KC once commented on how she had no idea I liked bright colors.  I was shocked!  I LOVE bright colors.  I’m gonna go on a wild bright color painting kick before they finally take the house away from us!! LOL  Anyway, I was just shocked but then I thought about it.  She was with me from 5th grade til 9th grade.  Then I moved 2000 miles away.  We’ve seen each other a dozen times since.  All she saw me in was jeans, concert t-shirts and black Members Only jackets (fake ones actually, no WAY my dad would fork over the money to buy me a REAL one).  So she knows me, but she doesn’t know me.

I think that when I started thinking about her not knowing me, and going over all the things she wasn’t aware of about me…I realized I didn’t know myself.  I liked all this stuff, wanted to be all these things…and what was I doing?  Not a fucking bit of it.  I was living someone else’s life!!  Talk about a shock!!

So now my wardrobe is mostly jeans and black pants…some khaki…and lots of bright BRIGHT pink, orange, coral, green, patchwork, rainbow…shirts.  I have one black concert t-shirt.  But it’s from a Journey concert I took my mom to at the PNC Arts Center in NJ a while back.  So, it’s not like a Deep Purple, Lynyrd Skynyrd, or Slayer black T-shirt.  It just doesn’t have the attitude.  I have some white ones too…but those are mostly horse product tshirts I got when volunteering at shelters.  Everyone wanted the dog and cat stuff, so I took all the horse stuff…worked for me.


I’ve got the itch for some bright pink Manic Panic in my hair again too…not the whole thing, but maybe just the underneath part in the back…or some tips.

My inner artist is out.  It’s loose.  It’s free!!!!  And it’s gonna paint some fucking thing soon or it’s gonna go nuts!! LOL

I have to go get some work done…I’ll try to get back in here more often.  It’s hard but I miss my blogtherapy…I think I NEED my blogtherapy.

:)