Why do I let him push my buttons???

OMG!  He's unbelievable!! He texts me harassing texts, then I get on the phone with my 12 year old that is upset and he's in the background yelling at me OVER her and she's getting more upset, I'm getting more upset and it all just went to hell real fast.  I swear my brain short circuits when there is any kind of communication with him.  I say things I shouldn't.  I start crying almost instantly.  It's insane!  I'm 3000 miles away and he's still disrupting everything in my world.  Can you imagine if I were close enough for him to just stop by????  I can feel my veins closing up a the thought!!

Why does he want the girls there if he's so freaking miserable around them?  Why is a war every few hours a requirement with him?  He starts fights with a 12 year old!  What is wrong with him?

I need to go make a TON of money so I can get a lawyer and start fighting back.  You'd think I would have had some legal assistance but my mom lied to herself and her boss about why I left Florida and now they won't get involved.  My mom is scared that she will lose the girls so she's helping an emotionally abusive, unstable individual damage the girls more.  Seems like a good trade off, right?  She gets to see her grand daughters self esteem damaged and their chances of future happiness blown apart, BUT she gets to see the girls!! Woohoo! for her.  What a completely twisted way to see things.  So she's helping Tom, whom she has witnessed when he was drunk and out of control, to get the girls the primary part of the year.  And she's decided to lie to everyone else and tell them she tried to give me advice, which is a crock of crap.  Her and Tom seem to have this affliction where they work through these situations in their heads and then forget that they never actually had a conversation with the person.  So I get a lot of adamant bouts of "I tried to tell you!" from her.  But the bottom line is, she never tried to help me.  She's so stuck inside herself she can't even begin to help anyone else.

Honestly, her being that way help motivate me to make a drastic change (move to CA).  I refuse to be like her.  I REALLY refuse to let my girls be that way.  I'd rather die than let them think that it's ok to be like that.

Ok, I need to go try to come up with some money.  Time to start posting ads for graphic and web design on craigslist...wheeeeee!! lol

I'll be back later!

Peace!